Friends' Teen Takes His Life

I've had trouble sleeping the last several nights. My mind has been processing the suicide death of a 15 year old of Johns Creek, GA, son of parents who are members of my last parish. Last Friday morning, before a school day, the son took his own life in his bedroom. The family and friends and all who knew the boy are stunned, as am I. I'm grieving with his parents; just can't get his death off my mind. I remember him at church on countless occasions, smiling and happy. I talked with his mother Saturday. Understandably, she said, "I just don't understand it." While some suicides are explainable (disease, pain, unbearable loss, etc), many are not. The suicide of a child produces a pain that is so deep it is almost unbearable. The words of Job help: "I know my Redeemer lives and I, too, shall live." The Christian has this hope: God is merciful; his love never ends." Jesus has healed the young teen's pain and Jesus will heal the pain of his parents. We have no other hope than Jesus. We lost a son, too, and the loss is still very real, even after years, but God has constantly reminded us that this life is temporary and we will see our son again. Bereaved parents hold on to that hope in the darkest hour.

Teen suicides are rampant in the U.S. I was a member of the governer's Teen Suicide Prevention Commission in Arkansas in the mid-90's. We published a list of the "10 Warning Signs of Teen Suicide".

Here is a list of warning signs:

Talking or joking about suicide.

Statements about being reunited with a deceased loved one.

Statements about hopelessness, helplessness, or worthlessness. Example: "Life is useless." "Everyone would be better off without me." "It doesn't matter. I won't be around much longer anyway." "I wish I could just disappear."

Preoccupation with death. Example: recurrent death themes in music, literature, or drawings. Writing letters or leaving notes referring to death or "the end".
Suddenly happier or calmer.

Loss of interest in things one cares about.

Unusual visiting or calling people one cares about - saying their good-byes.

Giving possessions away, making arrangements, setting one's affairs in order.

Self-destructive behavior (alcohol/drug abuse, self-injury or mutilation, promiscuity).

Risk-taking behavior (reckless driving/excessive speeding, carelessness around bridges, cliffs or balconies, or walking in front of traffic).

Having several accidents resulting in injury. Close calls or brushes with death.
Obsession with guns or knives.

EVERY TEEN SUICIDE IS A WAKEUP CALL TO ALL PARENTS OF TEENS!

Here are more indicators to watch and listen for re all ages:

Behavioral Indicators
Acquiring a Weapon
Hoarding Medication
Putting Affairs in Order
Making or Changing a Will
Increased Interest in Suicide
Giving Away Personal Belongings
Mending Grievances
Checking on Insurance Policy
Withdrawing from People
Verbal Indicators

Straightforward Comments:
"I wish I were dead"
"I wish I had the nerve to kill myself."
"I wish I could die in my sleep."
"If it weren't for my kids, my husband ... I would commit suicide."

Hints:"I hate life."
"Why do I bother?"
"I can't take it anymore."
"Nothing matters anymore."

Parents! Talk to your kids! Listen to your kids! Spent time with your kids! Give up tennis, golf, social events, shopping, TV, etc, if necessary, to save your teen's life!